Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Is Being Described as "Hot" a Compliment?

Let me give you the background of this strange question.

Undeniably, the private language of guys is at times incomprehensible to those of the feminine gender; with nuances that escape us at times but which guys seem to be able to decode.

I remember a few years ago a FoxSports columnist describing the wife of a football coach as "hot," and I felt that, however the writer might have felt about the erring football coach, the good woman commited no offense other than to be young and attractive, and deserved more respect.  I wrote it off to the sportswriter being an ill-bred Yankee.  Anyway, so much for my lingering regional stereotypes that I'm sure are unfounded.

However, a week ago a Baptist pastor, one Jo Nelms gave a pre-race prayer in which he thanked the Lord for various automotive and NASCAR products, and for his "hot wife"!  I was astonished.  That was very un-Baptistlike behavior.  And I don't think that most preachers' wives fall into that particular thermal category.

But, questions immediately came to mind: 

1.  How did the Lord feel about the prayer?  Does the Lord drive a Ford or a Chevy?  Did he get his cut of the royalties from the product endorsements? 
2. How did Mrs. Nelms feel about the prayer?  Where did Brother Nelms sleep that night?
3.  Did he get any fallout from his congregation?

I asked my guy friend nicknamed Dee-Doh (that kind of nickname's a Cajun thing) about it:  "Dee-Doh, would you describe me as 'your hot girl friend'"?

Dee-Doh seemed uncomfortable with the question, and sidestepped an answer.  He has over time learned to recognize those trick questions that women seem to specialize in asking: questions that either answer can get a guy in trouble.

So, for the record, I would like to affirm:  I would not consider being described as hot to be a compliment.  That's not how to do irony.

Unless I was a stripper.  Or became reincarnated as someone proportioned like Kim Kardashian. 


7 comments:

  1. For the interested, Rev. Joe Nelm's thanksgiving prayer can be found on You Tube as "Best Prayer Ever."

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  2. The preacher sounds like a real attention-seeker. And a douche, as well.

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  3. I would love to see you in a slingshot bikini. Please post your picture wearing one!

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  4. Best anime pictre ever!

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  5. THank you, Elvis. But I must demur out of demureness and lack of sufficiency.

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  6. I wouldn't mind being called hot.

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  7. I wouldn't mind having the nerve for a slingshot bikini.

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